Love is a verb.
Hollywood has scripted us to believe that love is a feeling.
Relationships are disposable.
The desire to love is not itself love …love is an act of will- namely an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.Peck (via findfreshlove)
As a woman you’re still expected to constantly prove yourself, whereas men are allowed to have flops without people blaming it on their gender. If a man has a flop, people will blame it on a variety of factors. But if a woman directs a movie and it doesn’t do well, suddenly it’s because she’s a woman. That’s aggravating to me.Diablo Cody on directing in Hollywood (via leanin)
Women are more open to being taught than men. There are no girl-wonders, especially in this business. But men all think they’re the next boy-wonder, and the industry treats them as if they are. It’s embarrassing. I’ve watched editors who have been editing films for thirty years kiss some young upstart’s ass, and I think, “Why are you kissing his ass? He should be kissing your ass. You’re the one with the experience, he’s brand new. Let’s see him sustain the career you’ve sustained.” They all coddle these boys, and it’s to the detriment of the work.
This is really, really important and I don’t think we talk about it enough. The entire interview is fascinating.(via feministfilm)
Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us.Paul Theroux (via lastisle)
Male privilege is “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they respect another man more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest.
The Sociological Cinema
There was actually research that was done that found that women who used an “I have a boyfriend/husband” excuse to reject unwanted sexual attention and harassment by their bosses were more likely to be left alone than those who used any other excuse (including “I’m not interested”)
just a little additional note too:
this is why I hate those videos, vines, whatever of some random-ass dude approaching a girl on the street, asking her to go to his birthday party or be his friend, etc., and she immediately responds with “I have a boyfriend,” or “I’m married,” and the video is like, WOAH THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY GEEZ
and I’m thinking, no fucking shit. you walked up to a girl on the street out of nowhere, and started asking her to go with you to some place she doesn’t know, or start a relationship with her.automatically, her reaction in the kind of culture we live in (the kind where rape and harassment is commonplace) is to get away, you are a stranger. you have entered her personal space, and however “innocent” your request is, it’s still at least a minor threat to her.
so yeah, she’s going to say she has a boyfriend, or that she’s married, or that she’s seeing someone. she has learned, through numerous interactions with men who can’t take a hint, that this is the quickest way to get some douche off her back. it’s not about her being stuck-up for assuming that you want to bone her by asking her to your birthday party. it’s about you putting her in an extremely uncomfortable social situation, and her wanting to leave it.
and guess what? she has the right to do that.
It’s also very telling that “I have a girlfriend” doesn’t work. That will just be like “oh does she want to share?” or “oh hot, we can have a threesome” or some gross stuff about converting us. So, despite how guys try to justify this, it’s not about respecting somebody already being a relationship, it’s about respecting a woman as being seen as already property of another man. -_- Like “oh, sorry dude, didn’t know you had dibs on that.”
Another thing is, guys may go “wow that escalated quickly” or “why does she assume I was interested?” But then, if we DON’T cut to the chase, if we don’t go right to where WE ALL KNOW THEY’RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY, then it’s our fault for “leading him on”, or they we “friendzoned” him because he didn’t know we weren’t interested, or he didn’t know we were already dating, or etc.
I tried “I’ve got a boyfriend” on a harasser at a bus stop a few weeks ago and he responded “Nah, you look like a lesbian” and resumed hitting on me. Which says a LOT of things